A Destructive Habit
by kittykat224
Summary: Jenny Humphrey gives into the pressures to bethin by Blair. Will this just be a habit of hers, or will she develop an eating disorder?
1. This is Where it all Starts

**Chapter One**

**This is Where it all Starts**

Jenny sat down on the steps of The Met next to Blair with her lunch. She opened up her brown bag, and pulled out a bottle of Fuze, a bagel with cream cheese, and some pretzels. Blair looked at Jenny with disgust.

"Little J, you're really going to eat that?" Blair questioned her. Jenny looked confused.

"Um yeah why." She responded.

"Well I don't know, you seem to eat a lot." Blair said with a smirk turning towards Isabel.

"Oh." Jenny said embarrassed. She walked over to the metal trashcan at the end of the steps, and dumped her brown bag, and its contents.

After lunch Jenny was thinking about what Blair said. She figured Blair was just trying to be helpful. Then she thought maybe Blair _was _right. She did eat a lot of bagels, and other various high calorie foods. She'd never thought of herself as overweight, but now she was starting to think that maybe she was. She decided maybe she should go for a run after school in Central Park.

Jenny got home after school, and dumped her tote onto her bed. She quickly changed into exercise clothes. She stuck her iPod into her ears, and tied her shoelaces. Jenny was just about to leave the loft when she ran into Dan. He eyed her apparel.

"Where are you going?" He questioned confused. Jenny wasn't one for exhilarating exercise.

"For a run around Central Park." She said shrugging.

"And since when do you go on runs?" Dan said smirking. Again, Jenny shrugged, and left the loft. Dan just shook his head in confusion.

The next morning before breakfast Jenny stepped out of the shower, and put on her white terry cloth robe. She hopped on her scale, and looked down. It revealed that she weighed 120 pounds. Jenny wrinkled her nose in disgust. She quickly got ready for school, and went into the kitchen to find her dad, and Dan eating breakfast.

"Here's some cereal for you Jenny." Rufus said gesturing towards the bowl. Jenny froze. She knew she shouldn't eat that. If she wanted to make a difference in her body, skipping breakfast would have to become a regular thing.

"Oh I'm not very hungry. I'll just grab something at school later." Jenny said. Rufus nodded.

At lunch Jenny walked over to The Met empty handed with Blair, and the girls. Blair took out a small salad, and a bottle of Fiji Water. Hazel glanced over to Jenny.

"Little J, you're not eating?" She questioned. Jenny shook her head no.

"Not hungry?" Blair replied.

"Oh I forgot to make my lunch this morning." Jenny lied. Blair nodded. She reached into her Chanel tote, and pulled out a low fat granola bar.

"Here, have this, I don't want it." Blair offered.

"Oh no thanks, I'll just get something when I get home." Blair nodded, and stuck the bar back in her tote. Blair looked over at a group of young girls she knew from French eating cookies. Her stomach growled with hunger. _Man this is going to be hard._ She thought to herself.

**AN: I hope you like it so far. I know it was a little boring, but the next chapter should get better, and so on! Reviews please! :) **


	2. The Pattern of Destruction Continues

**4Chapter Two**

**The Pattern of Destruction Continues**

A week had gone by since Jenny had started her "diet." Every day she managed to skip breakfast, with some excuse or another. Lunch was easy; everyone had stopped questioning her after three days as to why she wasn't eating. Dinner, however was a problem. For the first three days, Jenny either said she felt sick, she had to go to someone's house to work on a project, or she pretended to eat bits, and pieces. Jenny knew that she needed a new game plan.

Jenny sat down at her desk Sunday morning, and opened up her laptop. She went to , and searched, pro mia. She knew she was going to have to start eating at home soon, but she knew that was going to make her gain weight. She needed to get rid of it _somehow_. Jenny was now in full disgust of her body. She thought her waist was too big, her thighs were too saggy, and her arms were too blubbery. Her stomach was the absolute worst. She'd try to hide it with baggy sweaters, or sweatshirts, and flowy tops.

Dan knocked on Jenny's door. He wanted to ask her if she wanted to go out for ice cream with him. He had barely seen his sister in the past week. She was either at a friend's house, or out for a run. He wanted to reconnect.

Jenny slammed down her laptop quickly at the sound of someone knocking on her door, and looked up at Dan nervously.

"What are you doing?" He asked walking over to her curiously.

"Nothing." She replied simply.

"Uhuh. Anyways, do you want to go out for some ice cream?" Dan asked.

"I can't, I'm working on my English assignment. Sorry, maybe another time." Jenny said quickly. Dan nodded, and left her room.

It was about 7 o'clock, and Rufus was calling Jenny to dinner.

"Coming!" She yelled out.

She walked into the kitchen to find Serena at the table.

"Hey Serena!" She said hugging the blonde.

"Hey Jenny!" She said exchanging the hug. After about half an hour of eating, and conversation, Jenny excused herself from the table to take a shower. Jenny walked into her, and Dan's bathroom, and turned on the shower all the way. She vigorously put her hair into a messy pony tail. She remembered to lock the bathroom door, and then turned on the faucet full blast, and the fan, for extra protection. She bent down to the toilet and stared into it.

"This is it." She said under her breath. She did what she read about on the website. She stuck her two fingers down her throat. She tried this for about ten minutes, nothing really came out. Mixed emotions sailed through her. Maybe she should stop this? She really missed food.

_No. _She thought to herself. _Just think of how many guys will come after me once I get a better body. Every girl will be the envy of me in school. They won't just see as the girl on a scholarship from Brooklyn. They'll see me._

She resorted to a toothbrush. After trying for about twenty more minutes, she managed to get out her chicken parmesan. Jenny quickly flushed the toilet, and sprayed Febreze everywhere. She hopped into the shower, and then brushed her teeth. After all that, she went into her bedroom to listen to her IPod. Jenny started thinking of everything that had happened in her life. She knew that starving herself to look better to Blair was honestly stupid. Then she realized that she wanted revenge on her mom for leaving. Maybe her having an eating disorder would bring her back, and possibly show her that this is what happens when you leave your family. Jenny started to cry. She couldn't help it. The memories of her family- good, and bad, came flooding back to her. She wished things were the way they used to be. She missed her old life. She heard Dan walk by her room. Dan thought he heard her crying, but when he peeked his head into his sister's room, her lights were off, and she looked sound asleep.

The next morning Jenny decided she was going to go to breakfast late, so that way she wouldn't have time to eat it.

"Jenny! We're going to be late! Come on!" Dan yelled from the kitchen. Jenny ran in quickly.

"Here, eat this on the way. You need to eat." Rufus said handing Jenny a muffin in a napkin. She took it, and they left.

One their way to school Jenny "accidentally" dropped the muffin.

"Oh well, I'll just get one at school I suppose." Jenny said shrugging.

Three days had passed, and Jenny was throwing up after every meal besides lunch. For now, she could get a way with it without any strange looks or questions.

Jenny felt especially tired on Thursday. This whole not eating thing, and throwing up was really taking a toll on her. On the way to school Dan looked at Jenny strangely.

"Jenny, what's up with you lately, I never see you anymore!" Dan said.

Jenny quickly thought of a lie. "Uh, well I actually have a new boyfriend." She knew that was a really stupid lie.

Dan's eyes widened. "Oh, who? Does he go to our school?" He questioned.

"Uh no, he doesn't. I met him at Hazel's birthday party. He's actually her cousin. He goes to The Dalton School." Jenny quickly said. _Man I've gotten good at lying, _she thought to herself.

"I see, do I ever get to meet him?" Dan asked his sister.

"Possibly, I usually go to his place in the Upper East Side. You know, more privacy." Jenny said, smirking.

"JENNY! Please don't do anything stupid. You're only fifteen!" Dan exclaimed, his older-brother protective mode turning on.

"Geez, over protective much? I'm not that stupid. I have morals, you know." Jenny snapped back.

"Ok, ok. I'm just saying, and I'm you're older brother, it comes with the territory." Dan said shaking his head, wondering what had gotten into his little sister lately.

Jenny walked outside on her way to lunch. She was walking by herself, everyone had already gone. She had stopped at the nurse on the way to get rid of her killer headache. She was looking at the ground gripping her head when she ran smack dab into Nate..

"Whoa there Jenny slow down!" Nate said raising his hands in the air.

"Sorry." Jenny mumbled.

"It's ok. Are you alright?" He asked looking at her, noticing that she was gripping her head.

"Yeah, just a headache. Really tired. I better to get to lunch." She replied, turning around.

"Wait!" Nate yelled, just as Jenny started to walk away. She turned around.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"Do you want to go eat lunch with me?" Nate asked. Jenny nodded smiling, and then quickly realized that she wasn't going to eat anything.

"Sure, I actually ate about ten minutes ago, but I'll sit with you." Jenny lied.

"So how are you doing?" Nate asked once the two had found a place to sit down.

"Pretty good, I guess…" Jenny said her voice trailing off.

"What do you mean you guess? Is everything alright?" Nate asked, staring into her eyes with a look of worry.

"Yeah. Just really busy with school, and family stuff." Jenny said looking away from him. He nodded.

"Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here." Nate said putting his hand on her knee. Jenny shivered at his touch.

"Thanks." She said smiling.

"So how's the headache?" He asked her kindly.

"It's actually making me kind of nauseous, actually." Jenny replied, not really lying this time. Nate nodded.

"Why don't we just sit in silence then, to help you head feel better. Here's some water to help." Nate said handing her some water.

"Thanks." Jenny said looking into his gorgeous eyes.

Jenny got home that afternoon feeling absolutely exhausted. She walked into her room, and sat down on her bed. She then quickly remembered that she needed to weigh herself. She walked into her bathroom, and locked the door. 

The scale revealed 112 pounds. _Ten pounds in almost two weeks?_ _Not good enough._ _I just need to lose like twenty more pounds. I can stop whenever I want._ Or so she thought.

Jenny flopped onto her bed, and sighed. Life was tough. Jenny didn't really know what she was getting into. Jenny curled up in a ball to relieve her hunger pains. She turned on her iPod to some Evanescence songs. Tears started pouring out of her eyes. She thought that no one was home so she just let them out. She was so stressed. Her mom had left her family, her dad always seemed to be busy with work or something like that, maintaining perfect grades for her scholarship was quite difficult, and she was so confused about Nate. Did he like her, or not? Then there was Blair, and all the other girls. She was afraid one day they'd up and leave. She always felt like an outcast at school, she either lived in the wrong place, or dressed in the wrong clothes. She shivered. Jenny draped her blanket over her body.

Dan was walking to his room. He had just gotten home from school, he, and Serena stayed after to study a bit. He thought he heard sobbing from Jenny's room. He opened her door to find his little sister curled up in a ball with a blanket draping over her body. She was shivering. Immediate concern, and worry arose in Dan's eyes. He quickly walked over to his sister, and leaned over the bed, placing a caring hand on Jenny's back. Jenny jumped at the touch. Her IPod had been on, so she hadn't been able to hear Dan.

She quickly turned away from him. He leaned over to look at her.

"Jenny? Jenny, are you ok?" He questioned his sister. She pulled the earphones out of her ear, and quickly wiped her tears.

"Yeah, why?" Jenny asked.

"Well you're crying. Did something happen? Is everything alright?" He questioned, now sitting down next to Jenny, putting an arm around her.

"No, I'm just tired is all. God, can't I ever be stressed either? I can't be perfect all the time!" Jenny screamed. Dan put his hands in the air.

"Well obviously you seem quite stressed, something is bothering you." Dan said reasonably.

"Just go away! I want to be alone!" Jenny yelled. Dan's eyes widened. He'd never seen his sister this upset before. He needed to know what was wrong.

"Ok I'll leave, but you know I'm next door if you ever want to talk. I'm your older brother; I'm here to help in anyway." Dan said kindly, leaving Jenny's room. Jenny sighed, and turned her IPod on full blast. _What has gotten into me? _She thought.


End file.
